Numb

I'm tired of being what you want me to be
Feeling so faithless lost under the surface
Don't know what you're expecting of me
Put under the pressure of walking in your shoes

(Caught in the undertow just caught in the undertow)
Every step that I take is another mistake to you
(Caught in the undertow just caught in the undertow)

I've become so numb I can't feel you there
Become so tired so much more aware
I'm becoming this all I want to do
Is be more like me and be less like you

Can't you see that you're smothering me
Holding too tightly afraid to lose control
Cause everything that you thought I would be
Has fallen apart right in front of you

(Caught in the undertow just caught in the undertow)
Every step that I take is another mistake to you
(Caught in the undertow just caught in the undertow)
And every second I waste is more than I can take

I've become so numb I can't feel you there
Become so tired so much more aware
I'm becoming this all I want to do
Is be more like me and be less like you

And I know
I may end up failing too

But I know
You were just like me with someone disappointed in you

I've become so numb I can't feel you there
Become so tired so much more aware
I'm becoming this all I want to do
Is be more like me and be less like you

I've become so numb I can't feel you there
(I'm tired of being what you want me to be)

I've become so numb I can't feel you there
(I'm tired of being what you want me to be)

"Numb" - Linkin Park

What Breed of Cat are you?

I tried this quiz, short but it has unexpected results, unlike most other "what bla-bla-bla are you?" quiz. If you wanna try it out yourself, it's right here

You Are a Persian Cat

You are very high-maintenance, at least as far as keeping up your appearance goes. But you're surprisingly low-maintenance in every other aspect of your life. You are peaceful and sweet tempered. People enjoy your company. You are loving and a good companion, but it takes you a while to trust people.

Very cute pic, kinda reminds me of my sister's cat, Lola. ^_^

As for the results.. well, only the second and the last lines are true, the second before last is only half true.. >_<

The Miracle Drug

Lately I've been quite addicted with this drug. I took it more than 3 times a day, you know, for the maximum benefits.

It's a great drug, the effects are even better than beers or the other stupid drugs (e.g Cocaine, Marijuana). It blows your problems away and makes you feel more relaxed.

I know, they don't REALLY go away, but hey.. Pretending to not feel misplaced is so much easier than change, right?

Behold, the greatest drug ever. Fukitol.


Testimonials:

Fukitol is great, it takes care of all my worries and problems. Especially my ED! Thanks Fukitol

At least this on doesn't give me the shakes.... and if you snort it, you feel like you can fly!!!

Have you tried the generic version? I use screwitol. Works the same and saves me

No patent for Fukitol. This has been in the public domain for decades. Norman Mailer described its use in WW2 but misspelled it as Fugital. In ghettos it is cooked into a crystal form and widely used by hookers. They call it FukThemAll. Those caught in possession are sent to spelling prision.

Before using Fukitol I worried about bills, my husband fooling around and job security. Now only after a day of using this miracle drug, I find myself free of all the fuks in this work. Thank you Fukitol...because of you all my worries are gone. I would like to reccommend everyone to just... Fukitol!

Be sure to do what I do: spread 2 table-spoons of jack daniels over your clothes before visiting the doctor. Also 1 table-spoon of olive oil for your hair never hurts. If you just do those two things, they'll be sure to write you a generous prescription of fukitol.

Kleptomania Syndrome? @_@

I just got home from a long trek. I actually walked from my friend's dorm to my own. How far? Well, if you use the public transport it'll cost you Rp 2000. For those who live in Bandung, it's from around the zoo near ITB to Dago Asri.

Not bad huh? Well, that's what you get when you got nothing to do on Saturday nights and no one to spend your free time with... Well, as in my case, no longer have anyone..

I went to a mini-mart to buy tomorrow's breakfast and an ice cream (dunno why, sudden appetite). And when I got back home, I opened the fridge to put the ice cream. Something caught my interest there. A box with a Bread Talk label....

After I secured my ice cream in the fridge, I looked around to check my surroundings.. Empty, good..

I opened the box to see what's inside, just curious... It's a cake, still got more than half of it left.. There was one piece (the cake) that looked like it hasn't been cut properly..

After a sudden inspiration, a second of thinking, a quick glance backwards.. I pilfered that piece, walk upstairs, went inside my room, closed the door, and ate it like nothing was wrong.

So, for the morale of the story, when you bought or received some expensive and tasty stuffs, don't forget to offer me. I usually will refuse even if I actually want to accept the offer, that's to show my sympathy for your generosity.

If you didn't say anything at all... Then I shall take it right under your nose for your arrogance. >:)

Rain Falls..

I think the rain starts to be less frequent than previous weeks, is it because it's almost dry season again?

Either way I really dislike night rains.. Not because it prevents me from going out at night, I rarely do that.. It's because the rain makes it so cold that I become sleepy..

Not to mention it makes my sleep so comfortable that I can't get up early the next morning.. =_=

Like My New Look?

Noticed some different things? :D

I'm trying to implement stuffs from Blogging Tips & Tricks, made by Kendhin. If you want to look at it, it's at Trik dan Tips Blogging

So far so good, though I'm not really sure how to implement the smileys, sometimes it shows up, sometimes it doesn't. And since I thought it uses the same template as Yahoo! does so I tried entering some, it doesn't.

Gonna try some more, it's quite interesting, really. Kudos to Kendhin. :)

Thank You....

When somebody loved me, everything was beautiful
Every hour we spent together, lives within my heart
And when she was sad, I was there to dry her tears
And when she was happy, so was i, when she loved me.

Through the summer and the fall, we had each other, that was all
Just she and I together, like it was meant to be
And when she was lonely, I was there to comfort her
And I knew that she loved me.

So the years went by, I stayed the same
And she began to drift away, I was left alone
Still I waited for the day, when she'd say "I will always love you."

Lonely and forgotten, never thought she'd look my way,
She smiled at me and held me, just like she used to do,
Like she loved me, when she loved me

When somebody loved me, everything was beautiful,
Every hour we spent together, lives within my heart
When she loved me

"When She Loved Me" - Sarah McLahlan

What's the point...?

I'm tired of trying to be a good guy... What's the point...?
No matter how nice you are to people, you're still a trash unless your GPA is high..

I'm tired of trying so hard.... What's the point...?
No matter what I do I still won't be acknowledged by anyone...

I'm tired of living... What's the point...?
Every step that I take is another mistake for the world...


So why are you still waiting Grim...? You've had your chances, more than three times in fact...
What's the point...?

Connection Re-established

*Is this thing on? Good*

Soo, I apologize for disappearing for quite a long time. The net gone bad, and I was stuck with a shitty quarantined kind of living.

As expected, when I revisit my usual forum lair and turn on my messenger after it finally got back up and running, I got a LOT of a "where the hell have you been" kind of greetings. It feels nice when you're missed. >_<

Ok, so here I am still reading stupidly about my final task materials, almost 3 hours now and I still got no effing idea about it. Time to go to bed I guess. ~_~

False Alarm?

Encountered some annoying facts..

I bought Red Alert 3 yesterday, played through Soviet campaign.. And right after I finished the sixth mission, *poof*, back to windows. I thought it was caused by anti-virus programs so I turned them off for a while. Tried it again, *poof*, same shit happened at the same time too.

Annoyed, I replaced the DVD with a new one from the store today. Tried it again, and guess what? *poof*.

I gave up the Soviet campaign, and moved on to the Allied campaign. It was a smooth ride, first mission done, second was a cake, third was quite fun, going for the fou- *poof*.

.........

Going for the fou- *poof*.

!@$!$@#%#$^$%&%^@$@$^$%%^@@!!!!!!



Guess I'll wait for future patch...

Should I be...?

Awrite, the game companies had seriously made my day these months; All four newly released series are a blast!! Namely, Fallout 3, Crysis Warhead, Far Cry 2, and C&C Red Alert 3.

With all those I could literally forget about my social life and stick myself to the computer, especially with Fallout 3.. ~_~

I've been thinking though, is there a way to make this hobby of mine as a job? I mean, they got reviewers and testers over there, and they got paid handsomely.

I really wish I could be a pre-hands-on tester.. As in a groups of final testers, so the developers know what elements are missing, what possible bugs may happen, and everything. For example, Fallout 3 is near perfect, however there are a few things that still needs to be configured (I'll explain them in my review posts someday).

And I know that out there people are PAID for being a pro and sharing tips and tricks. Here, all you'll get are some astonished face, congratulations, and mostly sneers and disrespect looks because here playing games is dumb. Bullshit...

Hhh, back to my novel again then...